Perfume Etiquette: How to Properly Wear Fragrance Without Offending Everyone Around You

Overdoing it with perfume application is a completely different scenario from, say, overly plumped lips or a fanciful hairstyle. If someone’s aesthetic tuning surprises you (“Who could possibly like that?”), it’s not really a cause for reaction. After all, we don’t have to live with those details.

But fragrance is different. I know firsthand the unpleasant consequences that an overdose of perfume can have. If you have to spend a long time next to a woman who has literally “doused” herself with a third of a bottle of, say, La vie est Belle, a migraine at the end of the day is almost guaranteed.

That is precisely why perfume etiquette is worth knowing for two reasons:

1. To understand how to politely respond to people who are too generous with their scent application.
2. To avoid becoming the very person whose scent annoys everyone nearby.

The Golden Rule: Distance Equals Moderation

How should you wear perfume so as not to cause discomfort? It all depends on your daily agenda.

If you are only stepping out and don’t plan on close contact, you can afford a bit more fragrance. In the fresh air, people who don’t like your perfume always have the option of simply moving away.

However, if your day involves a lot of close proximity (office, public transport, crowded spaces), immediately activate the principle of moderation.

• This principle will be unique for every fragrance composition.
• Some potent perfumes require only a micro-spritz, while others can be applied two to three times.
• There are also compositions with very poor longevity, which are ideal for those who simply love to generously shower themselves with fragrance—the “over-spritzers.”

Here is an important nuance: if you think your perfume is light and fleeting, it’s worth asking a few people in your circle. The fact is that a person can develop a so-called “olfactory blind spot” to certain scents. You stop smelling them (and therefore apply more generously), but those around you clearly detect it and wonder how one can “survive” in such a cloud of scent.

Also, don’t forget about separation: if you work in an office or another close-knit environment, it’s advisable to divide your perfumes into daytime and evening scents. It’s better to have one moderate, universal fragrance than to use one potent and heavy perfume every day.

Where Is It Best to Go Completely Fragrance-Free?

This is quite a controversial topic, but there are places where etiquette advises arriving without perfume or with a minimal, barely noticeable dose. Traditionally, it is advised not to wear perfume before visiting:

• Churches and cemeteries. To avoid associating scents with potentially negative or mournful emotions.
• The gym. A strong perfume mixed with the smell of sweat is much worse than just overdoing the fragrance.
• Medical institutions. Especially where there are sick people, as during illness, the sense of smell can perceive odors distortedly and very sharply.
• During long journeys.

In my experience, I would say that moderate, light fragrances are permissible in all these situations. Simply choose a composition that will fade faster than you reach your destination.

How True Ladies DO NOT Apply Perfume

There are two “taboos” in perfume etiquette worth remembering:

1. Do not spray perfume in the presence of other people. Especially if they are strangers. This could provoke an allergic reaction in someone standing nearby.
2. Do not douse yourself with half the bottle when “dressing” in perfume around others. Of course, some people absolutely love all scents, and some hate them. But remember: even the most pleasant fragrance, in excessive doses, repels, rather than attracts.

A Polite Response: How to React to Someone Else’s Scent?

If you think that in a situation of perfume excess, the only impolite person is the one dousing themselves in it, you are mistaken. The person who expresses their dissatisfaction demonstratively, with vivid, offensive epithets, can also be very ill-mannered.

Of course, sometimes someone else’s perfume can be infuriating to the point of trembling, but you must realize: we all appeal to some people with our scents, and not so much to others. Even a clean, washed body has its individual aroma. And for some, this individual scent might seem quite peculiar. People have varying degrees of smell: some hardly smell anything, while others, like a search dog, pick up every detail.

If you can, show tolerance for other people’s tastes. But if breathing someone’s perfume is absolutely impossible, there are two polite options for behavior:

If You Are Meeting the Person for the First Time

If this is a stranger and you are unlikely to ever cross paths again, the simplest thing is to quietly move away, leave, change seats (if possible), or open a window.

Otherwise, you will have to simply tolerate it. Why? At this moment, the person can’t do anything about their scent. And your bright exclamations will only put them in a humiliating position. Imagine a situation on a plane where someone shouts across the cabin: “It’s impossible to fly with you, how could you put on so much perfume, you reek!” What is that girl supposed to do? Take a parachute and jump out? Or, an example from a changing room: should she “invent a time machine” and go back in time not to reach for the perfume? With anger and aggression, you will never achieve goodwill. Honestly, if I were rudely chastised for my perfume, I’d probably spritz the offender’s jacket with it, too.

If You Are in Constant Contact

If you are forced to be in constant close contact with this person (a colleague, for example), try to speak politely. Your conversation should not be from the position of “Your perfume is a stinky substance,” but focused on your own personal discomfort.

You can use a phrase like: “I understand you probably really like your perfume, but unfortunately, my body reacts poorly to it; I get a really bad headache from the scent. I tried to endure it, but I can’t, so I’m forced to ask you to meet me halfway on this issue.”

Of course, there are also especially obstinate people who tell you where to go in response to such a request. It happens rarely, but it does happen. However, in such a case, this person becomes impolite twice. And you can move on: talk to management, if it’s work, or simply minimize contact.

How You Definitely Should NOT React

There are forms of reaction to an overly strong foreign perfume that are categorically unacceptable:

• Demonstratively rolling your eyes, pinching your nose, pretending you’re about to vomit, and putting on similar childish displays. We are not in kindergarten.
• Discussing the “over-spritzer” behind their back. If the scent bothers you that much, approach them and say it in person. If someone is only gossiping behind their back, then the scent doesn’t bother them that much, and it’s just an excuse to talk about the person.
• Following the person around and complaining, if you have the opportunity to simply walk away and not smell the trail of their perfume.

In general, in any unclear situation, the key is mutual courtesy. Good will always triumph over evil, and a calm, polite request can sometimes yield results faster than aggression.